11-06-2009
Conjugation
Ghost Train was about to get a 4th season since as usual, the day before I go on holiday to Italy, the tube is on strike. 1h30 to go to work rather than 45 minutes... I tell you, it makes you really eager to go on holiday...
Anyway, let's talk about something more positive then... Holiday! Yeah! (can't stop saying it really). Nowadays it is actually quite pleasant to be able to check out on Google where you are going to go and check places before booking. With the latest version of GoogleMap, you can even work out how safe is the street where you'll be staying in Tokyo - with as many details as would provide the FBI itself. Particularly nice when you have nothing to do at work... And it is not without a certain sort of fear that I have just realised what an important era we are experiencing now - seing such tools developing, and how much of a dinosaure I will sound to my children (if I ever have any) when they will realise the word "Broadband" did not exist when I was born...
When I think again to the holiday I spent as a child - stuck between my two sisters in my parents' car, with the dog drooling in our necks, the cat getting sick, my teddy bear and no other tool to find the right direction than the sun, the hand-written itinerary elaborated by my father and the roadmap held by my Mum - arguable co-pilote who got the job in spite of her unability to remember where she parked the car when going shopping. Without being nostalgic, the family D.'s holiday were pretty Rock n'roll (even after Dad decided we would not listen to David Bowie's tape a 30th time). I have to admit, I remain admirative of my parents' bravery and their taste for adventure.
Since back in the days, there was no way to "Google" anything so we were going to our destination without really knowing anything about it - apart from the bad-quality picture seen on the brochure the cousins of the neighbours (who have been 6 years ago) had lent us 4 months before. That's probably why we spent quite often memorable holidays - and not because the sun was shining or because we met cool people... That was rather the opposite... The worst holidays we ever spent are most of the time the funniest ones and the ones we talk about the most...
Anyway, to get back to this beautiful new verb (not so new actually) "To google" (when will we have "to goolemap"?), it indeed offers us the opportunity to express how much of a control-freak we are... Trying to anticipate, check, plan everything we can. Even the time off when we should basically forget the existence of a watch... All these tools are indeed designed to help us to make the "dream holiday" come true (apart from the unexpected wasp sting's allergy while climbing the Etna ;).
But as any new word, I cannot help wondering about how long it will last and if it will be just a trendy-term that will disappear in a blink of an eye. In any case, the other day I actually heard it used with the past tense and realised that apparently it has been decided (God knows by who) that it would be a regular verb : I googled, you have googled, he/she/it has been googled, etc. So the next generations won't have to add this to the never-ending list of irregular verbs they have to learn by heart because of a traumatising English teacher. Thank you Google.
* Even though I am really excited about going on holiday, I could not help "googlemaping" my own house... And don't you dare telling me you did not try it too...
" To be on holiday is having nothing to do, and have the all day to do it. " - Robert Orben
02-03-2009
Ghost train - Season 3
After having been complaining so much on trains - just to prove that after 4 years in London, I am not sooooooo British just yet, - I came across recently the new ad campaign for Eurostar and I have to admit that from both sides of the Channel, creativity is something you can rely on - more than their trains. And the interesting fact about it is that rather than developping common campaigns - basic and dull- in both countries, Eurostar really makes an effort at developping clever campaigns separately, often manipulating cliches both populations have on each other, to keep the old rivalry alive in an effective and funny way. Cause after all, who can be better at taking the p*** out of the French than the Brits? And vice-versa.
*London for cheaper
* Spring in London
*Romantic break in London
"Advertising: the science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to get the money from it. " - Stephen Leacock
02-02-2009
Ghost Train - Season 2
As everyone've noticed, it snowed in Londinium. And according to my previous post, three snow flakes on the underground tracks were enough to paralise the tube network and gave us all the opportunity to call our boss to explain we could not make it to work. And for once I have to admit I was quite happy about it.
Following my obsession (no big headline needed for this, I am a control-freak) for words, I looked for the appropriate expression in English for such a thing. In French we say "faire l'école buissonière" (litt. To make school in the bush), which is obviously a sweet expression and rather appropriate on a snowy day when the only thing you do is going to the park, making snowmen and snowballs fighting with your mates.
I looked up of course for the equivalent in English and I have to say I was a bit disappointed the Shakespeare's language did not have a sweet equivalent too... "To play truant" sounds a bit violent for afterall, an activity that is rather nice and meant to be fun. Is it to emphathize the feeling of guilt? It would therefore explain the fact that the frogs are perfectly fine with missing work to be on strike while English don't? Hmmmm.
Anyway, if anyone has another expression to suggest, please do let me know, I am desperate to find a nice imaginative expression for this :)
"Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow." - Jeff Valdez
07-01-2009
Ghost Train
If there are a few things I would have to admit, Brits are really good at, I would say beer, crisps (especially the packaging) and saying they are sorry (I find it sort of annoyingly sweet). - I could obviously make it longer but it would be boring afterall.
BUT there are also things they are really bad at and one thing in particular would be trains.
And I actually think that the real reason why the British Islands were so reluctant at getting the Eurostar was not due to the fear of loosing their insular status, but because they would have to admit their uncapacity to manage anything moving on tracks and leave it to the eternal ennemy - i.e. the French.
As a matter of fact, I take the Eurostar on a regular basis to get my montlhly overdose of stincky cheese and grumpiness and I NEVER experienced any delay from Paris to London (and I would remember it since I always catch the first Monday morning train to turn up on time at work so my boss would point it out) while on Friday nights from London to Paris I can expect at least a good half an hour delay, to be able to enjoy the freezing temperatures of the coaches and arrive fashionably late which is anyway, a Parisian trademark.
Even a friend of mine - English and proud to be - recently admitted in front of me that the British railway has certainly one of the most obscure working system. And for a simple reason: the British rail network refuse to have the minimum of organisation that would provide as a result an efficient service. I actually experienced it on a daily basis (before I eventually decided to cycle) that a train going EVERYDAY from the station A to B was NEVER stopping on the same plateform... I appreciate the surprising effect of such a system that can make your day eventful while being stuck in the coach, wondering when the hell you are gonna be able to step out at least 3 times a week (Especially on summer days, when you have to enjoy the guy's-who-doesn't-what-perspirant-is 's armpit stuck upon your nose). Especially when you think that the price of the monthly travel card would be able to feed a family of 5 for a year in Sudan... But that's becoming too political to be mentioned.
The funny thing is that I recently travelled to India where I have to say - I was expecting chaos since their railway service was set up by the Brits. What a surprise to see that on top of being dead cheap, the India railway is far more efficient than anything I have seen in my life...
Anyway, let's stop mourning for a sec and enjoy the freezing temperatures that at least makes a 45 min-journey in the underground handable and I wish you all a Happy New Year!
"I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read in the train." - Oscar Wilde
26-11-2008
Holy Cow
For the real animal-lover I am, travelling across a country with a religion based on animals is a blessing and really gives you other prospectives about life without reading any self-help-book-bullshit. It might also explain why India is heaven for veggies. The hollyness of most animals makes that there is hardly ever meat on the menu and in some pilgrimage city you cannot even have it (neither alcohol which is easier to understand. Gods can't be bothered listening to prayers of drunk people). It is by the way in this city that it took me 10 minutes to be able to step into a café because of a cow standing on the doorstep and that did not want to move its arse.
Anyway, since my belief in religion is fairly limited (even if I have to say, I found fascinating the devotion displayed over there), I will not extensively explain the deep meaning of such an animalistic loving faith. No way. I will as usual get back to desperately down-to-earth considerations that some of you may find of the highest importance. Especially the coprophilic children who sleep within each of us. I obviously want to talk about the cowpat.
As a matter of fact, I was expecting the Indian city to be stinking cow shit all over since the number of animals probably overcome the number of inhabitants (there are over a billion now so I let you imagine). And what a surprise to realise that not at all. I was nearly disappointed. Either in the heat of the coast, the dump mountains, nothing seems to make stand out the fragance of such a holy substance (because indeed, hindous spread the ashes of cowpat over the heads of status, especially Ganesh... I did not know that elephants and cows had such deviant practices but anyway...)
So to explain this strange phenomenon, several solutions came to my mind:
- Cows over there don't shit (and since there are all really skinny and don't seem to eat that much, that would not be a surprise) and suffer from a chronical constipation
- The fact to be a sacred animal makes their excrements smell-less
- As self-conscious animals, they consider shitting in the street inappropriate for their own self-esteem
- I got so used to it that I did not even notice it after a couple of hours.
As far as I have understood, cowpat does not necessarily have the reputation to be one of the most horrible substances smell-wise in England. You can't even imagine how luck you are, guys. Cause I promise that this smell in the countryside where I was brought up in France inevitably made me become a city-lover. But since I like to find explanations to everything, I reckon this is the price to pay to produce the stinkiest - therefore the best - cheeses in the world.
Due to fermentation reluctance, India has bannished any sorts of cheese so the real explanation might be there then. They will never have the pleasure to discover the smile of the Laughing Cow :)
"Who was the first guy that look at a cow and said: "I think I'll drink whatever comes out of those things when I squeeze them?" - Calvin & Hobbes